What I was thinking... When Myrtle was killed

Myrtle’s death came of a great shock to me.  Although I knew that Tom was having an affair with someone in New York, I didn’t know it was her.  When I was told the news that she was hit in Gatsby’s car, I was extremely curious to find out who was driving and why they didn’t stop.  Gatsby says that he was driving the car, even though my suspicions tell me it was Daisy.  When I had found out about Gatsby was killed and had heard about the funeral, I was shocked. I was even more shocked when I found out that Daisy wasn’t planning on attending the funeral.  I believe this was partly because Tom wouldn’t let her go, knowing that she had an affair with Gatsby, but also because I believe she felt guilty about his death.  My suspicions were found true when Daisy did not attend the funeral.  She knew that Gatsby was killed because George was upset about his wife, and Daisy felt guilty because it wouldn’t have happened if she didn’t allow Gatsby to take the blame for her. Daisy really killed Myrtle.  It might have been an accident, but indirectly, she could be blamed for Gatsby’s death also.

Why I... Loved Gatsby's parties

Gatsby was an extravagant man.  I believe that was partly due because he wanted to impress Daisy, but none the less, he was extravagant.  He threw huge parties every Saturday night, and any great socialite was sure to be there.   There was great champagne, great music, and great company.  The party was outside under a huge tent, but my favorite part was exploring his house.  Although I am used to seeing and experiencing wonderful mansions, the Buchanan residence being a good example, Gatsby’s home was a particularly fascinating sight to see.  The house is breathtakingly giant, and extraordinarily over the top.  It had an amazing view of the water, and right across the water was the Buchanan house.  You could even see the green light on Daisy’s dock.  Gatsby’s house was incredibly gorgeous and the parties he threw were even more magnificent.  I looked forward to each Saturday night to just attend them.

What I was feeling... about Daisy and Tom's relationship

I never understood why Daisy fell in love with Tom, I never understood what she sees in him, and I will never understand why she went through with marrying him.  She doesn’t truly love Tom.  She might care for him deeply, or want him to have to best life that’s possible, but she does not honestly love him.   Although this is the truth, and anyone who knows Daisy and Tom knows this fact, Daisy would never admit to it.  Even when Tom had suspicions that Daisy was cheating, and then later found this suspicion was true and confronted Daisy about it, Daisy would not admit to Tom that she loves Gatsby, not him.  She said that she loves them both, but I do not believe it, and I don’t believe that she does either.  Gatsby is her true love, and nothing can change that feeling.

What I was feeling… about Daisy and Gatsby’s relationship

I always liked Gatsby. Not only did he throw the most extravagant, exciting parties but he was a great man when you got to know him and his true intentions.  That only made it harder when I found, through Nick, that they were having an affair behind Tom’s back.  Though I feel no pity for Tom; he cheated on many women behind Daisy’s back, I believe that he deserves to know how it feels in exchange.  I understand that because Daisy is Catholic, she doesn’t believe in divorce, but I believe that she needs to be truthful to not only Tom and Gatsby, but to herself.  She loves Gatsby; he is the man of her dreams.  On top of that, now that he is rich, she has no reason to be ashamed of him.  Though I don’t feel that sneaking around and hiding the affair was the fair thing to do, I do believe that they were meant to be.   

Why I... Cheated playing golf

Jordan Baker.  I’m sure the name rings a bell.  I was a golf champion and everyone knows my name.  Although being such a great and respected golfer still comes to mind with the sound of my name, so does one aspect of my athletic career that I’m not that proud of: cheating at a tournament.  Like I said I was one of the best, and I was looked up to as a role model.  It seems like an unspoken rule that people placed on pedestals cannot make a mistake, and that’s quite a lot of pressure.  At the same time, losing was not an option.  If I lost I wouldn’t be the best, right?  I would be a disappointment to not only me, but to all those that look up to me.  I didn’t want to cheat, but it was the only way to save my reputation.  Unfortunately, my reputation was ruined in the process anyway. 

What I was thinking... When Nick left

I loved Nick, I truly did.  He was a great man and a dear companion to me.  When he refused my invitation for a date, I knew something was wrong.  I knew that something between us had changed.  Maybe living in New York was different for him.  He was a Midwesterner adrift in the lurid East.  New York must have felt like a completely new world for him—filled with diverse people, with dissimilar beliefs, thoughts, and ways of going about things.  I don’t blame him for leaving; I am just upset that our relationship, and the relationships he had made with the others here in West Egg and East Egg, had to come to an abrupt end.  I wish him well wherever he may be now because no matter what happened in our past, I will always love and care about him.